In the mind of a Pig
by schweigenaatash
Summary: Everybody loves Saizou. But does everyone know how he feels? [spoiler warning for Okita] CC?


Disclaimer: Not mine.  
  
Notes: We all love Saizou, but when I got to thinking that ultimately Saizou was a tiny pig that no one cared for with the exception of Okita, I wondered: how would the pig manage during Okita's illness and after the poor darling's death? C/C, onegai! /bows/  
  
In the mind of Pig  
  
Saizou sat in the middle of the makeshift pig pen, watching his siblings frolic about with seedy eyes. He had decided, at an early age of two, that he was different from the rest of the herd. Even his mother, God bless her soul, allowed him to wander free from the pen whenever he felt like it but kept a tight rein on his siblings. Yes, he had a sense of wisdom and maturity and a level of understanding the other pigs could not hope to attain. Look at them, running in the mud like a bunch of mindless idiots. The mud should be a relaxing spa for them and there they go, ruining the area and wasting the mud by spreading it around the ground with their little game of "Catch me if you can". Bunch of mindless idiots, they were.  
  
"Saizou!"  
  
At the sound of his master's sweet voice, the pig squealed happily and ran to the source, leaping into open arms. He let loose tiny grunts and nuzzled at the soft, white material of his master's yukata, breathing in the youth's fragrant scent. Ah, his master /always/ smelt good, a tangerine mix of pine tree, jasmine and lavender all mashed together, probably caused by his special soap and aroma candles he so loved to light at night. It was strange, but the very first day this young boy picked him up after his birth, he had an odd yearning to know more about the lad. Never was a pig so joyful when the boy chose him to be his one special pet, and Saizou had loved his master ever since. He nuzzled at the yukata again. The lean chest heaved as his master giggled. "That tickles," his young master said, then asked, "Are you hungry?"  
  
Saizou nodded.  
  
"Okay, I have some candy in the room." The pig snorted and rolled his eyes to the heavens. Only his weirdass master would feed candy to a pig. The chest vibrated again with more giggles. "I thought you liked candy, Saizou?" If Saizou could shrug, he would. Instead, he did the only thing he could in response: nuzzle affectionately at his master again with a soft 'buhi'. "I thought so," his master said, quick to understand his gestures. Saizou could feel that they were moving now, probably towards his master's room which he shared with the other disgusting man who always stank of smoke. He could and would never understand what his master saw in that grouchy old pervert. Granted, the other man had his kind moments, but those were few when compared to the times he yelled at his sweet master who would only laugh in response. It thus led the pig to decide that the relationship was purely sexual, for there were nights when his master would cajole him to the pig pen, obviously for a little privacy. Just like last night. Stupid old pervert.  
  
Saizou balanced on one arm as his master opened the Shogi with the other. "Hi-ji-ka-ta-sa-n," his master sang cheerfully. Immediately, the smoke blew out of the room like a tornado and hit the poor pig straight in the face. He began to snort violently in an attempt to clear the putrid smell from his suffering nostrils.  
  
"I'm glad someone's happy this morning," the old man grumbled, the evil smoking device held between his fingers.  
  
"Did you stay up all night, Hijikata-san?" his master asked sympathetically.  
  
"If you hadn't distracted me, I would've been done long ago." Saizou, still snorting, managed to notice that the acidity in the pervert's tone had lessened somewhat. Okay, maybe he wasn't /too/ bad a match for his darling master. "Don't even think about bringing that pig in the room." On second thought, the old man's a real bastard. Saizou grunted grouchily as he glared at the other man who returned the favor with a fierce glare of his own.  
  
"I was just going to get candy for Saizou," his master explained.  
  
"Candy?" the other man asked incredulously, "For a pig?"  
  
"Saizou likes candy! Right, Saizou?" The pig was obliged to nod. "See?"  
  
"Fine, take your candy and leave."  
  
His master shifted him in his arms. "You're so mean, Hijikata-san."  
  
"Souji, just-"  
  
Saizou's eyes widened and he released grunts of concern when his master twitched violently, a hand flying to his mouth as he coughed. His poor master had been in poor health lately, his dry coughs sounding almost /painful/ to his ears. If he listened carefully with his ear pressed to the heaving chest, he could hear strange gurgling noises from within when his master coughed. Even Saizou knew those sounds did not bode well. The pig then felt a presence and looked up. He was duly surprised to find the old pervert suddenly standing close to them.  
  
"Souji," the man murmured softly, taking his master's hand in his, "You should rest."  
  
His poor master could only cough. Saizou made a small noise and bumped at his master's arm, asking if he was all right. The noise quickly escalated into a growl when he was snatched out of the warm embrace. "Go back to your sty," the old pervert said curtly as he set the pig down onto the ground. Enraged, the pig butted his head none-too-gently at the black yukata and considered stomping his little trotters on the sandaled feet. Stupid human! Stupid, stupid human! Being a pig didn't make him /incapable/ of having feelings. However, he stopped and grunted when his master finally spoke.  
  
"Don't, I'm..." Dark eyes rolled to the back of his head, "... fine..."  
  
Both pig and man reacted in their own fashion as their loved one toppled heavily to the ground. Saizou squealed frantically and took to nudging at his master's hand with his snout, while the old man pulled his master's head into his lap, took hold of the thin wrist and pressed two fingers against a spot. The pig looked up at him curiously, and was amazed to find the grouchy face creased into a worried frown. Then the man swore, loudly and rapidly. Suddenly, they were surrounded by various kinds and sizes of sandaled feet, different voices demanding to know what happened. Saizou glared at all of them for their rowdiness. Clearly, his sick master needed peace and quiet in this state of illness, but no, humans had to make a commotion about /everything/. Humans were such brainless creatures... his master not included of course. He turned to find the old man picking his master up in his arms, muttering, "We should take him to the hospital, fast." Saizou had no idea what a 'hospital' was, but by the urgent tone in the man's voice and the whispers the other humans exchanged, something was definitely wrong. Confused, the pig squealed and butted at the dark yukata again, but his questions were ignored. With a patter of feet, everyone was gone, leaving the pig standing all alone in the room.  
  
*  
  
"What's wrong with you, huh? You're grumpier than usual."  
  
Saizou narrowed his eyes and glared at the young idiot. Ages ago, his master was taken away from him with no explanation whatsoever, of course he was irritated. Who wouldn't be? Not to mention that fact that his master was ill and needed his presence to cheer him up. For the past few weeks or so, his siblings had treaded around him with great care, careful not to spark off his heating temper. Naturally, the stupid young human would light it up in their place. The pig bared his blunt teeth at the boy and was more than a little satisfied to see him rear back in fear.  
  
"Okay, okay," the idiot grumbled, "And I was trying to be nice too."  
  
Saizou 'buhi'-ed threateningly at him. If nice meant 'let's bother the pig instead of doing my chores today', then yes, the idiot was being nice. Jerk.  
  
"I'm visiting Okita-san today, want to come along?"  
  
The pig perked up. "Ha, I knew you'd like that. Don't bite me, or I'll leave you behind." Against his own instincts, Saizou leapt into the boy's arms and settled down, eager to see his master again. He took a whiff of the idiot's scent. Damn, he must have been practicing kendou again. Grunting, the pig averted his snout away from the body so he could breathe properly. Oh, the things he had to go through to see the beautiful smile on his master's face again.  
  
Saizou ignored most of the scenery and the idiot's inane babbles along the way, his mind focused sorely on breathing fresh air. However, he did notice that they had entered a large building, its interior walls painted in nothing but plain white, humans pacing around in billowing white coats with notebooks in their hands. What was this, a crazy house? He shook his head. No, his master couldn't be crazy. Granted, he fed candy to pigs and kept them as pets, but that didn't mean he was crazy. His ponderings followed him till the idiot stopped at a particular room and rapped on the door with his knuckles.  
  
"Come in," a deep voice said.  
  
Ah, so the old pervert was visiting too. It figured. The door opened to reveal a small private room with a desk in the corner and a bed on the other side, right next to the window. It was simple, yet functional. But Saizou could care less about the interior design as he performed a flying leap and landed straight into his master's arms.  
  
"Tetsu-kun, you brought Saizou!" his master exclaimed delightedly, before exploding into a series of wracking coughs. The pig whined, interestingly, like a sad puppy and buried his head into the white yukata. God but the gurgling noises were worse than ever. Saizou snorted angrily. Clearly this white-walled nut house was not doing any good for his master's health. He glanced up at his master to tell him that it was time to leave, but the sight shocked him into silence.  
  
His master was bony. Not lean, not skinny, but /bony/. His face, though somehow managing to retain its sweet charm and radiance, had sunken in so much that the shadows made him look so... weary. So tired. Peeking through the white cloth, his chest, full of lean muscles from kendou practice, had degraded into a mass of skin and bones.  
  
Saizou threw a fit then. Despite his master's cries to calm down, he thrashed, flailed and tore at the disgusting white sheets. What have they done to him? What have they /done/ to him? How could they reduce such beauty into a horrible mess of /nothing/! How dare they! How dare they do such a thing to his master!  
  
Two callused hands grabbed at his hind quarters and in his fit of rage, the pig whipped round and sank his teeth into one of them. "Hijikata-san!" he dimly heard his master gasp, followed by a mutter of "Guess we're having pork tonight" from the young idiot. The hands, however, did not release their strong grip on him. There followed a stalemate as both pig and human waited patiently for the other to loosen his grip first.  
  
"You two are so childish," his master giggled suddenly, "Let go now, come on."  
  
Obediently, the stubborn duo released each other at the same time, as though the youth's words had a magical effect on them. "Only Okita-san," the idiot chimed, amused, "I don't know how we're going to handle things without you."  
  
"I should be fine in a few weeks, right Hijikata-san?" his master said brightly amidst coughs. Saizou looked up at the other man with fierce eyes, demanding to an answer. "Yes," the old pervert murmured, a strange melancholy expression on his face as he reached for his master's hand. Having calmed down somewhat with that answer, Saizou trotted back into his master's arms and nuzzled gladly into the warmth. A few weeks... he can manage being without his master for a few more weeks.  
  
*  
  
The old one was crying.  
  
Saizou, almost driven mad with boredom, had wandered out of his pig pen to watch the humans play with their little wooden objects for a while and wonder about their intelligence (for they were stupidly using those things to hit each other) and without thinking, headed to the pervert's room straight after. The room no longer stank of that awful smoke the man always had but instead, had a bittersweet smell lingering about in the air. Curious, the pig nudged the Shogi aside with his snout and ambled in.  
  
The old one was crying.  
  
As much as Saizou hated to admit it, his heart clenched painfully at the sight of the stern man, hunched over so low that his nose was almost touching the ground, weeping. Trotting over, he emitted a small 'buhi' and waited for a response. There was none. Grunting, the pig bumped his snout against the man's wet cheek to get his attention. The pervert lifted his head, dark eyes filled and spilling with tears.  
  
The old one was crying.  
  
Saizou 'buhi'-ed questioningly, asking what was wrong. Of course, the man interpreted it wrongly and told him that the candy was stashed in the second drawer and that he could get it on his own. The pig rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and sat down beside the pervert as he returned to his grief. Sometimes words need not be spoken and in his case, words couldn't, so it was best to stay and be there, for just the presence of a loved one could bring comfort to other. This, the pig had learnt from his kind master. Briefly, his mind returned to the scent in the room, trying to pinpoint why it seemed so familiar to him. It smelled like lavender... like... his eyes widened. Leaping to his little trotters, Saizou ran around the room in an attempt to seek the source. Then, he saw it. His master's favorite aroma candle burned brightly on top of the desk, now reduced to a short stub of wax. The older man had lit his master's aroma candles, one of the many things on his hate list.  
  
Yet, the old one was crying.  
  
Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. Come to think of it, his master said he would be back in a few weeks. It had been, what, a month and a half? Saizou dashed back to the man and squealed shrilly. The Shogi doors opened then, the new arrival probably attracted by the squeals.  
  
"Saizou," the idiot cried, "Leave Hijikata-san alone!"  
  
Now something was /definitely/ wrong. The idiot would never bother to do that, not in normal circumstances. The pig put up a fierce struggle when he felt himself being lifted off the ground, but the idiot was adamant. He was carried out of the room despite much protest on his side, and returned to his pen. However, before the idiot shut the gate on the pig, he fixed sad, tearing eyes on him.  
  
"Okita-san is gone, idiot, nothing can be done about it."  
  
Saizou remained staring at the closed gate for hours after.  
  
*  
  
"Hey."  
  
Saizou opened his eyes blearily in an attempt to focus on the swimming image.  
  
"That's what you get for not eating, you stubborn creature. Here, eat this, you'll feel better."  
  
Saizou closed his eyes again, an annoyed grunt escaping from his mouth.  
  
"Please? I promised Okita-san I'd look after you."  
  
Tough luck, dumb brat. The idiot could have brought him to his poor master's death bed at least, but no, he had to be kept in the dark because he was nothing but a /pig/. Weakly, Saizou growled, anger bubbling within him.  
  
"Fine, but I'm leaving this here okay?"  
  
The pig opened his eyes and glared at the retreating figure. Like hell he was going to eat. Two months into his hunger strike, he had begun to have dreams and visions of his young master who was back in his lean, healthy state, laughing and playing with him once again. Today was not going to be any different. One of his siblings boldly ventured close to him and squealed shrill advice into his ears. A single glare sent the fool scurrying away in fright. Finally relaxing, Saizou closed his eyes.  
  
"Saizou," his master laughed, holding his arms out to him.  
  
Saizou flew into his arms and nuzzled at the soft yukata. He could smell him again. He could smell his master's fragrance again, as though the youth was still alive and clear as day. This was the best dream he had ever had.  
  
"It's not a dream you know," his master told him, as though the youth could read the pig's mind.  
  
"Buhi," Saizou replied negligently. Whatever it was, as long as he could stay here forever...  
  
His master giggled. "You silly pig."  
  
"You stupid pig!"  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"Hijikata-san... Saizou..."  
  
"If only Death would come so easily for me."  
  
"Hijikata-san?"  
  
"He's happy now, Ichimura. He's happy now."  
  
"...Hijikata-san..."  
  
"Did you miss me?" his master asked gently, stroking his head as a mother would to her baby.  
  
The pig nodded and grunted in contentment when the arms encircled round him tightly. There was probably an unlimited abundance of candy up here too. 


End file.
